Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
