Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
