he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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