I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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