I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
