Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
