what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize