When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
