I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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