I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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