Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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