it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
