she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
