Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize