First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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