An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
