I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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