why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
