No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
