I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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