i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she smelled like a LAN party
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
