im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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