just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dicks are not precious.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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