the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
my poor anus
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize