we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
