Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
