where does the pee come out of this thing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
