SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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