Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
