that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
