Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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