so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Operation Purity has been aborted
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
