If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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