his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize