she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize