I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize