Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
