hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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