guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
