Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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