i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I could fuck to npr.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
