Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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