My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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