My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
