id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
