i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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