at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
