if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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