Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
