Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
