I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
