He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My dick has a subreddit
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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