I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
where am i from again
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
