I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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