She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
well you can't waste a boner
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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