I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
