Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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