and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
