Someone shit on the floor
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
